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Sad but True..

Saw this on Facebook, and reposting here. So sad but true. I see my Mom, and I think back to all the promises I kept in my heart regarding her care in her old age. But look at me now, hiding & leaving her in the care of others simply because it’s just too hard. Especially when she has her meltdowns, which is happening daily now. </3

Ugly Truth but TRUE 

By Phcaa Sydney

If you are 60 years old and above you really have to read and consider these realities of life.

How to stay ‘safe’ in your old age:

1. Do not retire. If you’re over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don’t loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you’ve become a sloppy, listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble, write your memoirs, and above all, read. This will keep you alert and keep Alzheimer’s at bay.

2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life. If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Maybe, you have to ‘kowtow’ to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with your grandchildren, who will you side with? Will they even appreciate your arbitration?

3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets. If you want to help your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life’s earnings, singing heroically -not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name! Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your opinion and you will be confident about yourself.

4. Don’t believe your children’s promise to care for you when you grow old, priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a sense of moral obligation when the spouse and offsprings take top billing in their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be warned that not all children think alike.

5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely outlive your old BFFs. Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against. Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to channel your thoughts, experiences and values through, so that the lessons you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.

6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time. There’s nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because you reek of a camphor chest or dirt. Old age or bust, don’t look and smell like a corpse when you’re not one yet.

7. Do not meddle in the life of your children. If they ask for your counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own terms.

8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy. There’s nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.

9. Listen to what others may say. Do not throw your weight around just because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been on reversed mode, make growing old fun-filled & a pleasant experience for you and your brood.

10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life. You will definitely leave everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more accepting that, sooner not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.

Money – Your last power at old age!

If you are broke at old age, nobody, not even your children will come close to you. You are a parasite. Yes, Money buys you power when you need it most….. at old age.

Dear Mommy, I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye. I love you Mommy, I have failed you -and continue to fail you, by growing weary. Please forgive me. :'(

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him.
Forever and ever in the next. Amen.

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4 Comments

  • Reply marc

    My amah had Alzheimer’s and dementia too achi. So sad to have seen her in that state. Everything you said here is true. She never forgot who I was, but had to be reminded that I was married and have kids. Oh how I miss her!

    June 3, 2019 at 8:10 am
    • Reply Jane Go

      I’m dreading the day when my mom gets to the last stage. I pray thay God will take her gently & quickly in His arms before that day comes & she shreds the last of her remaining dignity. :'(

      June 3, 2019 at 8:27 am
      • Reply marc

        I know how that feels achi. You wish the Lord won’t make it too hard for her nalang

        June 3, 2019 at 2:18 pm

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