Every year in my kids’ school, they have a retreat/recollection. And every year, they ask all members of our family to write (Palanca) letters for them to read in school.

Palanca. A letter (either long or short) usually given to people who are going to have retreats, recollections and the like. You usually put the good and bad traits of that person but some people end up making it a “thank you” letter.

It’s funny how every year, my theme changes. Because my kids are growing up, there’s always something different with them in each year that passes.

Last year, I wrote my Lovey about her fears in a new school & how to meet them head on. A year before that, I wrote how I wish she can have more opportunities in a different school. This year, I wrote about how well she has adjusted. Every year, it’s different. And every year, I look forward to writing them letters.

This is especially helpful to parents who don’t have a good communication & relationship with their children. This is your ONE chance to get through to them as it is the time when they are MOST OPEN in terms of emotion. It is also the ONE TIME that they are open to changes.

.

HOW TO WRITE A PALANCA.

.

My (Palanca) letter to my Lovey this year, and her reply. Which I am sharing with you in hopes that it would lead to a closer relationship with your children too (if you aren’t already)..

I’m the first to admit that we’re not the perfect family. No one is completely perfect no matter how hard they try. But for my kids to think so? That’s the highest accolade I can ever get.

Thank you my dearest sweetheart for this beautiful & meaningful message. It’s every mom’s dream & wish to have close to perfect children, and that is what you kids are to me.

Every single day, I pinch myself to see if I’m living in a dream. You make parenting seem so easy-peasy. And you make my job as your mom the best thing that has ever happened to me. The notion I had of a family in the past, the hurts & the failures, you have managed to turn right-side up & you have given me the happiest, most perfect days.

.

.

My dearest Bea,

It has always been every mother’s nightmare to raise teens because of the horror stories associated with it. But compared to the rest of their experiences, my life as the mommy of teens has been pretty easy so far. So thank you for going easy on me. 🙂

I have noticed some changes though, which is of course normal. And totally acceptable. I too have gone through this phase so I am the first to understand. You need not worry about mommy even though I make you feel guilty at times with how you’ve been going out a lot & hanging with your new found friends, leaving little time for mommy. I’m just teasing you baby.

Mommy is not so selfish as to not be happy for you & your new social status in life. #populargirl From the start, this is what I’ve wanted -for you & kuya to have a normal high school life filled with happenings & friends in your new school. I was too late for Ate, but I’m so glad that I did the right thing for you & kuya by exposing you to the real world.

I have also noticed that you are so much closer to Ate now, sharing little inside jokes & secrets which you used to do with just mom. I’m very happy though that the 2 of you are so close. Not all sisters have the same relationship as you, so I must have done something right in raising my girls. I hope that your relationship will grow even more beautiful as the years go by. I want you to always have each other, share each other’s joys as well as burdens.

I just wish that you would also include Kuya. Because in the end, you will have only each other to rely on. Mommy & Daddy are both getting old. I know you have differneces now, but try to understand one another’s flaws & faults and be more accepting of each other. Remember that dad & I are a part of each of you. So when you love each other, you are loving us too in a way because we live in each of you.

Always remember that you can tell me everything with no fear or doubt. So never lie to Mommy to cover up anything. Nothing you say or do will make me love you any less. Nothing. I will ALWAYS do my best to understand. Right or wrong, you will have me on your side and we will always solve whatever problems that come your way two-gether. I will always help you.

The time will come that you will fall in love. And like I always tell Ate, make sure the guy deserves you & will love and treat you like a princess the way Mommy treats you. Any guy who treats you less is not worthy of your time & love. So choose well my baby. Don’t be in a rush. Also, never give something that you can’t take back anymore unless you are absolutely sure of your feelings. Always keep in mind that the best gift a wife can give to her husband is her purity.

I pray that God will give you someone kind, patient, understanding, and loving like your dad. But if you do make mistakes, Mommy will always be here to help you pick up the pieces. Physically, or in your heart -I will always be here for you. You just have to feel your heart beat to feel Mommy’s presence, in flesh or in spirit. Always. Never forget.

If there is anything that I wish for you to change about yourself, it is your crankiness. You’ve been so sungit lately to me & daddy. I know that you have good days as well as bad, but I hope that you can learn to control your emotions. Because this will also get you through life, Sweetheart.

Lastly, you are the BEST accident baby. I can’t even imagine a life without you. Having you is one of the best things that happened in my life. I love you SO much, and you are God’s perfect gift to me & daddy.

Love always & forever,
Mommy

——————————————————————————————————————-

Dear Mommy,

Omg I just read ur letter now. I love u so much mommy! I’m sorry if I’m really masungit sometimes and I promise I’m gonna try with all my will power to change and be better!

I’m so sorry if sometimes I take you guys for granted I just realized today that I have the perfect family because as we were discussing in the recollection we had to talk about our families and all my classmates were saying how they can’t tell their parents anything because they know their GONNA get sermon but with you and dad that never happens also I am so grateful because God gave me such an amazing mommy and family!

I never miss a day where I thank God for you, dad, ate and kuya. Sorry for being so difficult sometimes (ok most times haha) but I promise if this recollection taught me one thing it’s to appreciate my family with all my heart and soul and never take them for granted!

As we were talking my classmates kept on mentioning to the class that they wish their family was more like ours they literally said “My dream for my family is to become like Jena’s family, a perfect one!” And I realized today that yes, we may all have inisan at each other but at the end of the day OUR family IS the closest to perfect; closer than any family can ever get!

So now in my class we are known as the perfect family and I don’t disagree because in my eyes if we aren’t perfect, we are close to perfect. I LOVE U SO MUCH MOMMY and I really will try my best to change!

Thank you  so much for having so so so much patience for me and my stupid “teen” changes, I promise I will try to lessen my annoying teen changes!! Love u so much mommy and a day never goes by where I don’t thank God for you!

Love, Jena

.m