Early today, Dec 27 2019, upon waking up, I received a very sad news on Messenger from a mommy friend. Despite the holiday season, and while we were in Tokyo JaFun no less, a gloomy atmosphere settled around us as we received news of France’s sudden & very shocking passing.

France was Ate’s grade school friend back at The Learning Child. They were classmates for several years until my kids transferred to Maria Montessori Foundation because the former didn’t offer secondary education. France & the rest went on to either Zobel or Woodrose, while my kids went to MMF since I preferred a smaller, tight-knit school.

Anyway, most of the girls lost touch through the years -same goes for the mommies although we’d still see news on Facebook from time to time. I think my daughters see that I am emotionally unattached to other people not in our family circle, so they also don’t put much emphasis & plant deep roots and nurture friendships like me. We are more family oriented & spend every waking moment together, as you very well know.

Just 2 days after Christmas, my mommy friend Gina messaged me that France died due to Dengue. I was SO shocked. I mean all the while, I thought dengue was treatable at this day & age. What happened? She was only 25 years young, the same age as my precious Ate! :'((

I can’t even begin to imagine what the mom was feeling at that moment. My heart broke further upon knowing that Monet, together with her other daughter, were also confined for the same disease. How tragic that she couldn’t even attend to the funeral preparations herself as she was also so weak. God, how is this possible? God, why would you allow this? I asked as tears streamed down my face.

As a mother, my kids are my whole life. As in literally my life. They are the air I breathe. I truly couldn’t conceive how the mother was feeling at that moment. It’s just her & the girls now, so the somewhat sturdy 3-legged chair that she has worked so hard to achieve is now down to a very rickety 2.

The whole day, I was feeling weepy & would tear up now & then. Kap & the kids would ask me why I was so affected when it has been DECADES since I saw them last, or even had a conversation.

I think it’s the mother in me that cannot accept the loss. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. No. It’s just not the norm. When the time comes, I pray that God will take me ahead, because truly, I cannot live a life without any of the kids in it. I cannot live a life without Kap in it. So while we still have time, don’t forget to show your love to your husband & children.

A mommy friend who, upon seeing how devoted I am to the kids, once advised me not to bestow too much love & give so much attention so that they won’t have a hard time daw when I’m no longer around. I strongly disagreed then, I still vehemently disagree now. I will pour as much love & as much attention to my family while I can so that when I go, they will have enough of me to last them a lifetime.

Life is so fleeting. We have to make it matter & not waste a single moment just because of “what ifs”. Time spent with them is just so precious.

Rest in peace dear France, and our heartfelt condolences to the grieving family. </3 May God comfort you & envelope you in His infinite love.