October is National Bullying Prevention Month. I’m sure each of us, or someone we love, has had this unfortunate experience at some point in time. Fortunately, the Anti-Bullying Act 0f 2013 otherwise known as Republic Act #10627 has been promulgated to safeguard our children in schools where bullying is predominant.
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To read about RA 10627 Click HERE.
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In life, there are no guarantees. Nothing & no one is perfect. The only thing constant is change. You meet people whom you think will be in your life forever, but then circumstance changes. What started out as good vibes become bad. You get pulled in different directions & made to feel bad for your personal choices & decisions. And you ask yourself, what am I really in it for? Then you assess your priorities. Do I want this in my life? Do I NEED this in my life?
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Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be. A while back, a person whom I looked up to, messaged me out of the blue after I joined a certain group. To be honest, I was surprised with how sweet she portrays herself to be but maligned another & suggested it was in my best interest to stay away. She said this guy called her husband a “kusinero” and she felt very slighted with the word as her husband was unemployed at that time. I said I preferred to be Switzerland in this case as I didn’t really know both of them well & preferred to stay out of it. But she continued to send me periodical emails & text messages further maligning the guy & his wife, and also pressuring me to leave the group for my own sake.
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Life is too short to waste it on negative energy & negative people. One day you’re here, the next, who knows where you’ll be? If I’m lucky enough, I get to have 20 or so more years with my family. I surely don’t wanna use those short years dwelling & being miserable about people & circumstances not vital in my life.
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Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. When this person saw I wouldn’t budge on my stand to be Switzerland, she started unfriending me in social media outlets & blocked me on purpose. Then she’d change her mind, retract, and apologize via text message & email. Saying she doesn’t want any ill will & bad blood between us. I don’t even reply anymore which I think angered her further. So she blocks/unblocks me again & again.
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My personal take on relationships & friendships in general is, if you don’t like a person or a situation, cut off all ties. Leave. For good. Then move on. Don’t dwell, it’s not healthy. Stop saying & thinking bad things, stop all the verbal & written connotations because if you give them notice, if you stalk them every day of your life to find out what they’re up to, then obviously they are still important in your life. And honestly, it doesn’t make you better than the one you’re hating on.
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What’s the point of talking about someone in a bad light? To feel better? Well, you’ll never feel better if the only thing you know is to make others suffer. Going back to this person that I used to look up to, she wormed her way to the heart of the group & started a revolution against the guy. She started a codename & they would refer to this in conversations whenever they could. The guy remains clueless. So who’s the real bully, pray tell.
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In my 40+ years, you’d think life gets easier & relationships become better. Wrong. It’s the same now at my age to back when I was waaay younger. People still take sides, people still talk about one another behind their backs, makes fun of you directly or indirectly. People tell you what to do, make you. People still want to show who has the power. It’s a continuous struggle. That’s life. So what you do is you try to rise above it and all the pettiness that goes along with it.
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People fail to get along because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other. They don’t know each other because they haven’t communicated with each other. -Martin Luther King I didn’t want any part of this. What I thought was a kapatiran turned out to be be a kaplastikan. This is not what I signed up for. And so, I left.
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Having said that, rising above is not easy. With technology now, a person can be a thousand miles away from you & still manage to affect you & ruin your day with as little as a few words. One even. Again, I ask. Do you NEED this in your life? Take charge. Leave. In a couple of years, everything you know & feel now will be but a distant & hazy memory. Sayang lang ang energy.
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People will always have their opinions of you despite who you are & what you are capable of. In my good conscience, I know for a fact that I have not done anything wrong to anyone, most of all to her -short of not sharing her sentiment. I most certainly didn’t deserve her hatred just because I didn’t make her enemy mine. Please. We are not in the schoolyard anymore.
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It’s just sad when adults have to act as kids & set a poor example to their own. Is this the kind of values we want to teach & impart to our children? That it’s ok to hurt other people? That’s it’s ok to poke fun because it’s just a “joke”? Remember, jokes are half meant. Or in most cases, fully meant disguised as a funny cap so you don’t get into trouble.
To be kind is more important than being right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a heart that listens & understands. Factions took over the once-friendly & happy-go-lucky group because of the malice she planted. So to put back the peace in my life because it was just getting to be too much, I decided it was time to make an exit & just go.
As parents, or even leaders of a pack, it is our duty to set things right. We don’t laugh about it or join in on the fun. What we do is we put a stop to it. After all, isn’t that what responsible parenthood means? Coz if you turn & face the other way when someone is being bullied, you might as well be the bully too.
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Bullying is never right. Think carefully before you insult somebody for who they really are. At least they’re open about it. Sometimes, God doesn’t grant us the desires of our hearts because maybe we aren’t ready. We aren’t ready to take care of another human being because we aren’t matured enough ourselves. And so He leaves our bellies barren. Oh yes, I’m going there. Don’t think I’m not putting up a fight, you have pushed me too far. Try me. I have NOTHING to lose anymore. I’m out.
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So yes. Maybe it’s time. Time for goodbyes & hello to a simple, quiet, uncomplicated life. The struggle is real, and the stress just not worth it. NOTHING is worth it if you aren’t happy.
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Every day is a good day to set free & enjoy the best positive version of an imperfect you. I have held my tongue for the longest time for the sake of peace, and yet she still continues to test me up to now. I am lioness, hear me roar.
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Let’s take it from this person who has shown such great wisdom..
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Be nice to those who hate you. Because YOU are better. YOU are a lady gaga. This is my last warning to you. Leave me in peace. Don’t talk about me, don’t even think of me. And I will do the same. Or I promise you, worms will come out of the many cans you sent me.
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Agree? 😉 Live, Love, Laugh, and the 4th L.. Let Go. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, hate, or negativity stop you from being the best person that you can be.
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If there’s people talking bad about you, let them talk. The less you care, the happier you will be. You can’t let people hurt you if you don’t care. And guess what, I don’t. I am living my life to the fullest. I suggest you live yours the same way too & stop giving me so much time.
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After all, life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got. 😉
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Amen.
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