Exactly 40 days after his passing, my brother David picked up our Mom & they rode off into the sunset together on his Harley. Destination: Heaven.

My mom’s death came as no surprise and I was actually prepared & ready for her passing. She was turning 90 after all, and for the past 7 years, her health was failing in a slow, excruciating, downward spiral. Towards the end, it was just plain torture to see her in so much pain, immobile, and unaware of anything.

Dementia is a most cruel disease, leaving its patient with a loss of even the last ounce of pride & dignity. From a brilliant Doctor with so much attitude & personality, my Mom was diminished to a lifeless shell who couldn’t recognize her loved ones, couldn’t voice out what she was feeling, and couldn’t take care of even her most basic needs. Relying on her caregivers for literally everything.

I often wondered why my mom was hanging on to dear life when she really had nothing going on for her anymore. Good food, shopping, and travel were out of the question as she could no longer enjoy them. Nourishment was osterized and watered-down lugaw & some meat or fish for taste. Her daily outfit was pj’s to keep her cool & comfy. Travel was limited to the bathroom for showers & relieving herself.

Mom had multiple bedsores, collapsed veins, joint pains.. she was in and out of the hospital so much that I begged God every single day to take her home already so she doesn’t needlessly suffer.

But God remained quiet to my tears, and He let Mommy live on in spite of the pain & suffering. Kap told me Mom was waiting for someone or something. When my brother died, I got my answer. She was hanging on for him. Up until the very last moment, she waited for him so they could be together.

She & my brother were always close which was one of the underlying causes of our sibling rivalry I guess. He has always been the favorite, something that I have come to accept a long time ago.

On July 21, 2022, a Thursday afternoon as Kap, Jena & I were doing our routine afternoon walk around the village, she expired.

Her caregiver called us saying Mom had trouble breathing. We thought nothing of it because her Yaya was a very anxious person & had a tendency to exaggerate in the many years that we had known her, so we weren’t overly worried. It was when we received a 2nd call saying mom was no longer breathing that we realized the gravity of the situation, and the truthfulness of her words.

Thankfully, Kris had the presence of mind to call on our neighbor, who so kindly picked us up & brought us home quickly. Mom was already gone when we got to her. Part of me was relieved because I knew that her suffering had finally ended. But the daughter in me was devastated, knowing I will no longer get to see her, touch her, kiss her. :'(

There was a time in my life that I couldn’t get as far enough from my Mom & Brother as I possibly could. I even contemplated on migrating my family just so I can be away from them. That’s how toxic our relationship was. Each day that I had to see them brought not joy, but anxiety & tension.

Read: How to set boundaries or cut ties with toxic family, according to a Psychologist..

But when the realization set in, that they were both gone and no amount of tears & regret will ever bring them back, my heart sank, and my soul died a little. Now, I would give & do anything just to have them back in my life.

There’s an old Mexican belief that says death comes in 3’s.

Before 2022 ended, “Gambo” passed at age 51. He had been my mom/brother’s driver for over 20 years & left their employ a couple of years ago due to a disagreement in his working hours & scope of duties.

He complained of a stomach pain due to impacted bowel & allegedly, when he was rushed to a private hospital, they asked him for a 400k deposit, which of course, they didn’t have. According to his family, the Doctor who saw him said it was probably just flatulence & sent him home for observation – with no tests administered whatsoever.

After less than 10 hours, he was rushed back to the same hospital, suffering from a Gastrointestinal Perforation and being diagnosed a little too late. He died within hours. A senseless & painful death – one that could have been prevented. What should have been a happy New Year’s Eve celebration turned into a most sorrowful one.

Things come in 3’s. DEATH came in 3’s. First my dear brother. Then my mother. And now Gambo (as we fondly called him – a short cut for his surname Gamboa). I would like to believe that the 3 of them have patched up & are now driving around in Heaven, exploring all corners & enjoying God’s presence.

RIP Gambo, thank you for your service & loyalty to the family. <3