I have a dear friend whose daughter is being bullied by her peers, and it opened so many wounds for me. Nag-throwback ang puso ko to the time when I felt the world collapsing as one of my children was mentally, emotionally, & psychologically challenged by who she thought were friends.

The thing with moms is, kapag nasaktan ang anak, times 10 ang sakit na nararamdaman ng ina. I’m sure most of you can relate. When we bring our kids into this world, all we can think about is giving them happiness & security, keeping them away from harm & danger. We want to shield them from all that is bad, and surround them with only what is good. But alas, we are not living in a perfect world.

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Having gone down the same road, I advised her to IMMEDIATELY take her daughter out of the situation. Bullies will be bullies, just like black will always be black. It has taken years of insecurity & feelings of inferiority to have made them this way. They prey on people with better lives, better grades, better family. They want what they see, and they can’t have it, so they set out to destroy the world of others. Misery loves company after all.

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Indeed! #mydaughterissmarterricherandbetterlookingthanyou \m/

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Si Kap, iba ang pag-iisip nyan. He’s a fighter. He teaches my kids to never back out of a fight. He is more of mental, while I am the emotional type. Malaking usapan at debateng naganap, but in the end, I chose to support my child because knowing that you are there for them 101%, that they can rely on you no matter what, is what builds character & self-esteem.

Looking back, I still wouldn’t have let her fight her own battles because she wasn’t emotionally & mentally ready then. It’s not called running away, it’s called “giving it time”. And now, she is more than ready to face the queen bees of the world.

Today, my daughter is self assured & confident of herself in spite of what happened in the past. She is better equipped & ready to fight battles of her own along with her level of maturity. And I think it’s mostly because she knows she has a great support system in her family. That she ALWAYS has a choice no matter the situation, that’s what I have instilled in her. Kahit ano pa yan, laging magagawan ng paraan. You don’t have to stay in a bad & harmful situation because there is always another way, there is always another choice.

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Ate is confident because she knows she has a great support system who will be there for her 24/7, come what may. Sometimes in life, support from our family is all we need. <3 She has a great relationship with each of us, yes even her siblings. Here we all are at 3 in the morning taking her to the airport. The siblings stayed up with us kahit groggy na sa antok after a long, tiring day just so they can also send the Ate off. That’s love. 😉

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I am so proud of how this daughter of mine handles sensitive situations now. She has really come a long way. Ako pa nga ang bitter-bitteran pag naiisahan sila haha. Ako yung hindi maka-get over!

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I am Lioness.. hear me roar.

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Take for example.. She has this one classmate whom we as a whole family had been so nice to. It was this girl’s first time in Manila, and her birthday was coming up. Ate felt sorry for her classmate who was homesick, and so she brought her home one day after school & we all celebrated the birthday together. We ate out, ordered all her favorite food, we treated her well & welcomed her with open arms, not knowing who she is & where she came from. We opened our home to her.

A couple of years passed, each birthday we’d send her little tinkets to show that we remembered her, at my daughter’s prodding. She was even part of Ate‘s 18 candles in her debut. Then one day I saw a photo with all her friends in it -without Ate, celebrating the birthday of this classmate at a buffet place. I asked why she wasn’t there, she said she wasn’t invited. Well, she was at the last moment, in the guise of “oh-I-knew-you-wouldn’t-come-so-I-didn’t-invite-you-anymore-but-would-you-like-to-come-anyway”. Turns out the classmate’s (original) circle of friends didn’t feel comfy DAW having her around coz Ate‘s way sosyal & stuff kaya she wasn’t invited (even though her entire clique & the ENITRE CLASS was).. anyway, whatevs. It’s water under the bridge na daw Ate said, yun nga lang umaalingasaw parin sa ilong ko yung tubig-kanal, lol.

Not that I was looking for an utang na loob, no. Maybe just a little courtesy? Didn’t your momma teach you manners? Anyway, if you can’t be loyal to your original group of friends & would backfight them to your new ones, what can I expect. Ganyan talaga ang buhay.

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My daughter clearly didn’t want to go to an event she wasn’t welcome & where the invite was just an afterthought. I was like.. Hello, mas madami naman kaming kinakainang lugar waaaay better than where you’re having your party, duh! @_@ Saksak mo yan sa baga mo. 😛 (yes, I’m really the child in our relationship hehe) But Ate was like.. Mom, just let it go. It’s her party. She can invite who she wants, let’s not dwell on it. In fact, kasama pa nga nya today in her trip abroad, having welcomed her to their barkada after said classmate left her own & flitted to Ate’s just recently. That’s how much Ate has changed. For the better. Hindi tulad ko, for the bitter wahaha!— 

I am proud of the fact that she has a forgiving & a giving heart. I need to learn a thing or two from her. 😉 Saan ba nabibili yan, Ate?

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So my point is, there will always be bullies in this world. Tignan nyo ako, bully pa rin hanggang ngayon, trololol. But it’s how you deal with them that gets you from point A to point B. You may not have the courage to stand up to the bullies of your present. That’s ok. Take some time to breathe & toughen up, for when the time comes, you can have the courage to face the bullies of your future. Diskarte lang yan. 😉