One of my pet peeves is receiving unsolicited advice. In Filipinos, that trait is a given. In chinese families, more so. Walang boundaries, pakialam toda max. Feeling close, is the best definition I can give.
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Ok lang sana kung ka-close mo eh, or from persons of authority -people whom you look up to & respect –at constuctive ang dating. But coming from people you don’t know, or let’s say -you are related to, but not chummy with; at lalong lalo na yung mga wala namang kinalaman sa mga bagay-bagay at pakialamerong frog lang talaga, feel ko.. KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF and mind your own darned business! @_@
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Motives for Unsolicited Advice:
Needing to Be Needed: People who offer unsolicited advice from this motivation may have a lot of knowledge in a certain area that pertains to your situation, and need to share it with people in order to feel needed and important.
Narcissism: Some people need to be in the role of ‘teacher’ all the time, or perhaps just like to hear themselves pontificate. Their advice is often long-winded and not always appropriate to your situation.
Establishment of Dominance: Some advice-givers would like to take the role of ‘more knowledgeable person’ in the relationship dynamic, and giving advice puts them in that position.
Passing Judgment: Sometimes when people have seen something in you that they don’t like, they give unsolicited advice as a way to change it. This advice can often feel like an insult more than a genuine attempt to help.
The Desire for Drama: Believe it or not, some people love conflict, love hearing themselves argue, and get a feeling of personal power from telling others how wrong they are.
Source: https://www.verywell.com/whats-behind-different-types-of-unsolicited-advice-3144961
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I have this MUCH older chinese cousin living all the way in Canada. Oh diba, ang layo na? Twice he has sent me long emails telling me how to blog, how to live MY life, how to raise MY family, how to spend MY money. Hindi lang yun, he even sent a link of my blog to our other relatives kasama ang unsolicited advice nya. Hahahahahaha! Magaling, magaling, magaling! Sya na ang napakagaling! \m/
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Take note that this guy is from another side of the family ha. Walang connect. Mahilig lang talaga makisawsaw.
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Dong, pwede ba? Ayusin mo muna ang buhay mo bago mo pakialaman ang buhay ng iba? There was a point in time na kinalat mo sa mga kamaganakan na nanlalalaki ang asawa mo kaya she left you, and yet hinabol mo & now you’re happy (?) together. Sabagay, what should I have expected from a man who ruins his own wife’s reputation. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
And for the life of me, why do you persist in reading my blog if you are so against my lifestyle? Wala ka na ba ibang mabasa? Punta ka sa national library ng Canada I’m sure madaming libro at magazines dun. Or since you’re always, ALWAYS on facebook, stalk other people nalang, dami mo namang oras online eh. Btw, speaking of too much time on your hands, retired ka na ba? Sorry ha, I know nothing about your life kasi bukod sa hindi ka interesting at hindi ka relevant sa buhay ko, I just never cared enough about you. 😛
I didn’t even invite you to read my blog, much more be a part of our lives. Galing mo naman na out of millions of bloggers in the world, nahanap mo pa ang blog ko sa kasamaang palad.
You even told me not to use God & His words in my blog, and you ask that God has mercy on me. Koya, ano yan, monopoly? Ikaw lang ang anak ng Diyos? Ikaw lang may karapatan? Close kayo much? ;))
May I refresh your memory kasi baka may memory gap ka na dala ng edad mo, when your Dad was still alive & my mom was helping him financially until the time of his death, did she once even call or write to you to ask that you send your own dad monthly support? Hindi po. Kasi buhay mo yan. Up to you if you wanted to own up to your own filial duties as the financially-capable son.
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O, send mo itong photo as attachment sa mass emails mo sa mga kamaganakan ha? Saka yung letter ni mother na nagsasabing wag mo pakialaman ang buhay ko. Ok? Mwah! :-*
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Even when your dad went to Canada to visit you, my mom was the one who paid for his ticket & pocket money since you didn’t see fit to send him transportation fee. Lahat yan may narinig ka ba sa aming mga anak? Wala. Kasi we were taught by my mom that sharing is caring.
“To those whom much is given, much is required in return.” Luke 12:48 Yan ha baka makatanggap na naman ako ng email for quoting your our God.
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Even though I asked you to stop sending me emails & reading my blogs, you continue to do so. Akala mo ba hindi ko nakikita ang IP address mo? Wow I’m so flattered that you find our life so interesting. So hindi ko man ugali mag-rant dito, here’s a special shoutout to you, dear cousin. Hayaan mo sa susunod lagyan ko na ng picture mo, para naman feeling special ka din. Parang inggit na inggit ka kasi sa buhay namin, lol.
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Sa mata ng pamilya mo, you are still beautiful. Kaya wag ka nang bitter.
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For your info, ito ang definition ng blog ok..
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Pakibasa ng maige.. PERSONAL. P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L. Ano ba gusto mo isulat ko? Buhay ng iba? Please, I’m not you.
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and this is one is especially for you.. TROLL (definition)
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GOppets, sinagot ko na sya. Wag nang patulan at pag-aksayahan ng panahon, ok?
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PS: May kasabihan, happy wife happy life (hindi yan bible verse ha baka mag-react ka na naman). So MY unsolicited advice for you is, make your wife happy, para happy life ka din pinsan.
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“It’s easy to see the bad, it’s easy to let the negative vibes from others infect you, but don’t let them. Find a happiness that is so pure that it radiates off of you.” You want happiness? Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. BE WHATEVER! Because life is too short to be anything but happy. And I simply refuse to let you take away our happiness.
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Moving on, bow.
Last na, I dedicate this song to you, kasi YOU CAN’T SEEM TO SMILE WITHOUT ME, and I ALWAYS SEEM TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY! 😉
Can’t smile without you -Barry
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32 Comments
Oh my, that was a very mean email by your cousin… are you really relatives, hehehe! Some of his words I wouldn’t even say to people I dislike bec its very obtrusive. When I dont like something i see on the internet or FB, i just simply unfollow. No bad feelings pa. I kind of feel bad for him though, just basing on the nastiness of the email, he sounds ike an unhappy person. I hope you still get to patch things up. 🙂
November 14, 2016 at 7:29 pmI have no desire to patch things up with him. I have no need for toxic people in my life hehe at hindi sya kawalan sa buhay ko in all honesty. He is one nasty guy pretending to be a Christian. Kapal ng mukha may bible verses pang kasama diba. :)) Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m still smarting from the effect so I really appreciate your comment, more than you’ll ever know. :-*
November 14, 2016 at 8:10 pmI can understand how hurtful the mean words and comments can be kaya you really don’t care to patch things up – nasama pa pati pagpapalaki ng mga kids. Although I see only a part of it from your blog, they seem to be happy, smart and kind people. The fact that you have a happy family and kids that love you and Kap so much only mean you are doing something right with how you have brought them up – no bola :). And personally on the spending/being frugal piece, my thoughts are for as long as I use MY OWN money and I don’t make utang from anyone then I can use and spend it any which way I want to esp if I work hard for it naman. And in your case you spend it on family, so parang I’m thinking what’s the big deal, people work hard for their loved ones naman talaga diba? So go lang ng go Jane and enjoy the fruits of your labor! 🙂 God Bless you & your family! I really find your blog super interesting to read 🙂
November 15, 2016 at 7:33 amThank you so so much. <3 You have lifted a heavy cloud off my head. I don't want to let him affect me but it's easier said than done. But I let him win if I rfuse to let this go. So for my sake and not his, I am vowing to move on. Maiwan sya sa past, ako move forward sa future with my happy family. 🙂
November 15, 2016 at 9:07 am“May god have mercy on you”?!!
Who does this guy think he is? The nerve!
Naaffect ako haha I can’t even imagine how you must have felt reading the email. People like this should be cut from our lives, relative or not.
Don’t even bother with him. There are so many of us who love the way you blog. How many readers does he have?? Hehe
Looking forward to reading more goppets posts.???
November 14, 2016 at 8:55 pmHay naku Deanne, ayaw ko man magpa-affect, sobra ako nanggigil sa kanya ha. Masyadong feelingero. But thank you for your words of comfort. Tama ka, hindi sya deserving of our time. Masyadong bitter ampalaya, walang kaligayahan sa buhay. 😛
November 14, 2016 at 9:36 pmWow, talk about being “in your face” talaga. That was quite a rude email, to be honest. Eh hindi naman niya pera yung pinag-Europe ninyo ba’t affected siya ng sobra? 😀
November 14, 2016 at 10:37 pmHay naku Rose, kung hindi ko lang natapon yung first email nya ang tindi din kung makapangaral pls. Pati pagasikaso ko sa nanay ko tinuturuan ako. Nung una pinalampas ko, pero masyado nang feelingerong frog. Sana kung karespe-respeto sya. Eh ni hindi ko nga sya gaanong kilala kasi nga mashonda na. Hayz. Salamuch sa suporta, I appreciate it talaga. :-*
November 15, 2016 at 6:34 amGrabe! Sino naman siya para pagsabihan ang isang tao na what you have is greed dahil lang nagtravel, nagshopping, at kumain sa labas greedy na? Para pakialaman ka pa at pagsabihan to live a simple and frugal life. Nakakainis naman yan! Inggit lang yan. Hmp! Ang dami ko namang nakikitang nagshoshopping at nagtatravel pero never pumasok sa isip ko na greedy sila. Mema lang yan, MEMA-sabi, MEMA-gawa, MEMA-email.
November 14, 2016 at 11:25 pmThank you Eula. Sa first email nya he also questioned our lifestyle na kumakain madalas sa labas, may mga staycation pa daw. Sabi ko many of those are sponsored. Saka sponsored man on hindi, ano ba ang paki nya diba?! @_@ Maayos pa nga ako sumagot kahit na hindi ko na sya dapat pinapatulan. Pero itong huli sukdulan na makialam, inggit na inggit talaga sa buhay ko hay. Syempre hindi na ako papayag na yurak-yurakan nya ang pagkatao ko. Sino ba sha? Irrelevant. Kawawang nilalang. 😛
November 15, 2016 at 6:39 amYAAAAAS!
BEST ?? CLAP ?? BACK ?? EVER ??
AND IF YOUR STALKER IS READING THIS (WHICH IM SURE HE IS BCOZ HE’S JUST SOOO INTERESTED IN OUR LIFE):
YOU FREAKING STRANGER SENDING ME “WISDOM” ON FACEBOOK, STAY THE F(IRETR)UCK AWAY FROM ME!!! I’VE NEVER MET YOU SINO KA BA LOL FEELING CLOSE MASYADO!!!
Translation (bcoz you are feeling Canadian): WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BWAHAHAHA!!!
AYAN TULOY, PA-STAR PA MORE TO OUR RELATIVES. NA-FEATURE KA TULOY SA BLOG!!! ISA KANG DAKILANG PAPANSIN!!! NOW YOUR BLACK SOUL IS FOREVER DISPLAYED ON THE INTERWEBZZZ
GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
~bitchslap~
November 15, 2016 at 7:24 amHe sent ylh “wisdom” on facebook??? Now THAT I won’t take sitting down! It’s one thing to attack me but it’s another to attack YOU! Grrrr!! We’ll discuss this when you get home pls. He has NO RIGHT talking to you!!!
November 15, 2016 at 9:00 amOne reason why I remain anonymous even with family members. Nobody knows I blog!
November 15, 2016 at 8:31 amHay naku Maria ako din, I prefer strangers to friends & family really. Mas hindi sila reactive haha. Kamalasan ko nahanap nya ang blog ko. Vwiset! :))
November 15, 2016 at 9:10 amOmg Auntie what a very rude man! So kami mahilig magtravel and magshopping greedy nadin?!? Pake ba nya! I can see the jealousy and I bet he is very miserable! Continue to be as awesome as you are, Love you and the GOppets forever.
November 15, 2016 at 9:41 amPs. Let’s schedule something soon!
Hi Sweetie! <3 Imfgit lang sya kasi diba nga according to gretchen baretto.. "those who can, CAN!" HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH! Bahala sya sa buhay nya, basta tayo, CAN! Sorry na lang sya at CAN'T sya! ;))
November 15, 2016 at 9:45 amWhat a miserable, miserable man. Gusto niya maging miserable ka din kaya he sent you this hate email, hahaha!!! Sorry na lang siya, that will nevah happen! …and because of that, mag-vacation ka ulit sa Europe & eat out everyday! Go girl!!!!!
November 15, 2016 at 11:05 amMismo! HAAHHAHAAHAH! At isama ko pa sya sa hashtag trololol! ;)) Thank you my dearing Meding!
November 15, 2016 at 12:17 pmoh Ms Jane!!!! I just read this now…ewan ko ba! sa office, I can read your blog! (which is bawal); sa laptop ko sa bahay, ayaw!!!! restricted daw ako!!!! anyway, dont mind this person! mej kaawa siya actually…ramdam ko ang inggit…wagas…hahaha! i look up to you kasi nakikita ko how good your kids are…magagalang…they say hi agad kapag nakita nila na friend mo…nakita ko talaga yan ha nung nag meet tayo… tapos pag nag seserve mga waiter laging naka thank you…at kelan pa naging bawal mag aliw ang mga nagttrabaho naman! wala naman kayo pinerwisyo sa tour nyo bakit kelangan sitahin?!?!?!?1
November 16, 2016 at 7:35 amHi Jo! 🙂 Thank you for your words of affirmation regarding my kids. One thing in life I am most proud of is my family. I believe that their upbringing & how they are now as adult citizens says a lot. Kaya tama ka, deadma lang sa mga inggitero na hindi na happy sa buhay nila, hindi pa happy sa pamilya nila kaya grabe makahanap ng butas sa iba. Mwah! :-*
November 16, 2016 at 8:59 amManood nalang kamo sya ng movie ng Trolls baka sakaling magising sya maganda yung movie haha! mga tao nga naman. I dont get it why ka tinawag na Greedy dahil kumain ka lang sa labas at nag travel??? ang sarap nya sabihan what you have is Jealousy haha! Nakikibasa na nga lang ng blog kung ano ano pa sinasabi? haha! May kakilala ko nagsabi ng ganyan sakin, greedy daw ako kasi di ko sya pinautang pero may pangkain ako sa labas at pang travel. Aba di ko kasalanan kung nagbanat ako ng buto kaya may pangkain ako at pang travel.
November 17, 2016 at 4:01 amHay so true. What we do with our own money is our business. Ke magpa-utang tayo o hinde, desisyon na natin yun. Syempre family first di ba? Korek, manuod sya ng Trolls for positivism hehe.
November 17, 2016 at 8:01 amWhy is he being so mean? I don’t understand where he is coming from. He claims to be a man of God, however there is so much hate in his email. No one especially, someone as kind and loving as you deserve this treatment. We should pray for his enlightenment. I love you Jane, praying always for you and your family, more blessings and happiness 🙂
November 18, 2016 at 8:16 amThank you for the love Eileen. :-* I guess he’s just so miserable with his own life that he just has to go try & ruin mine coz he can’t bear anyone to have the elusive happiness. Kawawang nilalang.
November 18, 2016 at 8:34 amspell “INGGIT”, naku baka di nya alam na nakamamatay yun hahaha.
anyways, keep doing what you do miss jane at napapasaya mo kami sa mga posts mo.
November 23, 2016 at 3:59 pmThank you so much Joseph. Your kindness goes a long way. Appreciate it. 🙂
November 23, 2016 at 5:09 pmNever entertain NEGATIVITY in your life.
November 24, 2016 at 6:22 pmStay AWESOME Ms. Jane. God Bless the GOPPETS 🙂
I fully agree. Thank you so much for this Katrina. Mwah! :-*
November 24, 2016 at 8:25 pmHi Jane!
November 28, 2016 at 5:46 pmOhMyGod! Kagulat ang unsolicited advice nya sa iyo. Sa tingin ko, pakialamero syang tunay. Ang hilig manood ng Teleserye kaya pati kayo pinanood! I feel sorry sa mga kasama nya sa buhay.
Sad life.
Pasok sa banga ang mga sagot mo sa kanya! You’re a good daughter, Wife and Mom Jane, please always remember that. Stay happy!
bess
Hay thank you Bess! :-* Mega talaga ang pagka-nega. Lakas maka-inggit lol. Sagutin ko nga sya tulad ni gretchen sa mga bashers nya hehe.. “darling, bask in my posts, these are things you will never have.”#sorrynotsorry 😛
November 28, 2016 at 10:47 pmLol! Ayan, kainin mo ang alikabok ko! 🙂
November 29, 2016 at 2:21 amhahaha I LOVE YOU BESS! :-*
November 29, 2016 at 7:01 am